Vanessa's Blog - September: Reluctant to come to school
I hope you are all having a great start to the term! Unfortunately I know a number of young people are not happy to be back. Many young people with autism will say that they don’t want to go to school, or don’t want to go home again at the end of the day. Some can be cunning in finding strategies like pretending to be ill, whereas other can have full-on meltdowns at the thought. It is important that parents and school staff don’t take this personally. In the vast majority of cases, it is not that they hate school, or hate home, but find the change between the two distressing; we call this change transitioning.
There are lots of changes when children transition, some of them quite subtle;
- Imagination – when we are going somewhere we automatically use our imagination to help us to predict what it will be like and use our memory as a guide for what it was last time we were there. Many children with autism struggle to use their imagination in this way, so they don’t know what to expect, even when they have made that transition hundreds of times before.
- The social environment – schools and homes have a different set of social rules and expectations. As a non-autistic adult, I can say that I act differently at home and at work, the language that I use is different and I put on a more professional persona – we all do this! The same goes for children moving between school and home
- The sensory environment – schools are big noisy places, with large rooms and homes are often the opposite. Different clothes for home and school, which can cause sensory discomfort
As act of transitioning is difficult, it leaves some children wanting to avoid it. This can be accentuated if they are also aware that their day at school may be difficult – if the work is hard, or social relationships are stressful. Would you want to go through a difficult, possibly even painful transition to arrive at somewhere that was going to be a continued challenge?
There is a lot we can do to make transitioning easier for children with autism.
Take away the unpredictability
- Children need to know what they will do when they get to school. For young children, have a ‘At school today we are doing… card’ to look at on the way in, but older children may have a visual timetable of their full school day to prepare
- When transitioning home, it can be useful to have a reminder like a toy from home, or a handkerchief with Mum’s perfume on. This could live in a safe bag/box at school during the say.
- Have a calendar at home which shows ‘School Days’ /’no school’
- Set up a predictable routine once they arrive at school. This could be morning work that the whole class does, or could be an individual activity. For some children with very high anxiety, a calming activity, or deep breathing activity may be the best way to set them up for the day
- Have a ‘whoops’ card to signal changes in routine, like going home a different way, or going to a shop. Practice changing the routine at calm times, when there is no rush, so that it will be easier to manage if an emergency crops up.
- Reduce your language and give information visually where possible – such as showing photographs or goggle maps on your electronic device.
Think Sensory
- Some children need time to get used to the school environment before they face a busy classroom. They might first go to a safe space, or to see a trusted member of staff?
- If the hall ways are very busy in at transition times, the child with autism might benefit from going a few minutes before, or after their peers. In some schools an alternative routine, or alternative door may be available
- Ear defenders, or head phones playing gentle music may block out some of the noise for some students. Likewise, some benefit from wearing sunglasses at transition times.
Support the social change
- Again, it may be not always be best to go straight into the classroom, so going for 1:1 time, or time in a small group at the start of the ay may help.
- Have clear visual rules for school as a reminder of what the expectations are
- Have a quick release from parents where possible, even if that involves some tears. Most children will calm very quickly once they are distracted, but if they can still see their parents they will hold on to the idea that they might be persuaded to take them home and will continue to be upset.
Make it positive
- A ‘Positives’ scrap book can be useful to remind a child of all of the great things about school and all of the successes that they have had on previous school days
- The morning routine, should involve something motivating and something the child feels feel confident that they can achieve. It might involve their interests, like some Lego modelling, or super hero colouring. This will make the pain of transition seem like it is worth the effort!